Coffee with Joy

My Grandparents’ Wedding Day was 80 years ago today. There were several parties over the years to celebrate, but I remember their 50th Anniversary Party well. A friend had given them a poem called “When Grandpa Looks At Grandma” and suggested that I read it at the party. So I did. But I remember thinking “That’s not how they are” and worrying a bit about the authenticity of what I was reading. Because the poem was sweet and well, they really weren’t. My Grandpa was more salty than sweet, had a short fuse, and a joke or saying for everything. He was so funny! My Grandma was a social butterfly and although she used up all her words every day (and maybe a few other people’s words too), she never minced those words or held back on her opinion.

The foundation of that 50 year marriage, however, was faith and family and community. They decided early in their marriage that they would never gossip or talk negatively about anyone. If a situation needed to be discussed, it was just the two of them, behind closed doors. They never missed a Sunday at the First Reformed Church in Three Oaks, Michigan, where Grandpa was on the Consistory Board and Grandma sang in the choir and was involved in the Guild and Circle.

Even though I knew they weren’t overly sweet with each other (The “Oh, Mother”, “Oh, Father”, and “I’ll go out and blow the horn” proved that!), I was confident that it ran so much deeper. They were stability. They were home. Their roots went beyond sweetness to the foundation of faith, family, community, and wisdom. I was always loved there.

A couple of days after that 50th Anniversary Party in the fall of 1993, my Grandpa admitted that he hadn’t been feeling well. He went to the doctor, was sent to the hospital and never came home. Today, they celebrate that 80th Anniversary in heaven together. And if I know my Grandma, they are having a big party.

Mark & Anne Todd
October 1, 1943